Enis, you break my heart with your silence. I cannot believe how much can be said in silence. How much pain. Heath Ledger, you made me cry because I really did believe you were Enis the Cowboy. Thanks, L.A. for taking me to see Brokeback Mountain. Now, that is what good cinema is all about. It made me appreciate the fact that I do not live in a cowboy world, full of ashtrays overflowing with cigarettes. If that isn't the perfect image for this movie- Wow, Ang Lee, overflowing ashtrays is the perfect image for a man so overflowing with pain. I didn't think a man could talk with his lips that tightly held together. It seemed Enis only opened his mouth up long enough to take a drag on a cigarette and occassionally, just like a bad smoker's cough, he would have these enormous emotional outbursts, full of painful, exruciatingly painful rage. When he walked out in front of a truck and the driver yelled at him, and he took his pain out on the driver by taking a swing at him, only leading him to getting his guts kicked in, I really looked at ridiculous outbursts differently. It all stems from pain really. I know I've had my own ridiculously painful outbursts. Now, I haven't taken to swing my fists at anyone, but I've had moments of verbal garbage spewing forth from my mouth before. It always comes from a place of pain, this anger. It made me look at anger a little differently. At least until I left the theater, and I AM NOT KIDDING ABOUT THIS, my friend and I immediately saw a man, wearing a cowboy hat, screaming and throwing insults at a woman in a truck. I am dead serious. And yelling at her once, wasn't enough. I thought he was done being a jackass, until he turned around and started in on her again. I have no idea what precipitated his angry outburst, but I didn't feel as sorry for him, as I did Enis. Go see Brokeback Mountain. It's not just a gay cowboy flick; it is much much more than that. It is a movie, everyone can feel. I know a lot of Enis's in my life. Men walking around in so much pain and repression, with the inability to talk. It makes me feel for them so much more. I know a lot of women walking around in a lot of pain, with their lips tightly sealed shut as well. You'll never want to see another cigarette again after this movie.